Like most of you (I assume), I'm not on Tinder actively looking to fall in love. We've talked about all the important things: tarot and astrology, politics, my interest in angels, how much we distrust the government and the police (LOL, millennials), and childhood traumas. Part of this is because I am traveling for the weekend to figure out my living situation.
A few casual dates would be nice to pass the time, and while feelings are good, a committed relationship takes work and emotional investment that I don't have right now. All of that being said, I definitely was not expecting to emotionally connect with anyone, especially since it's pretty difficult for me to feel like I'm having an authentic exchange with a stranger over the internet. I've been planning on moving to Brooklyn in August and, serendipitously, the same day I matched with Alex, somebody messaged me and invited me to sublet their room, firming up my tentative plans.
Although my heart had been bruised before, I welcomed new experiences and never wanted to prevent myself from feeling anything.
I don't want to give up on New York, and I also don't want to have anything tethering me from immersing myself in that experience fully.What I'm saying is: I've been burned really badly before, and I'm not looking for it to happen again.I haven't ghosted, though, because I guess I am a bit curious about what might happen.So I couldn't have been more surprised when this guy with the dogs (I'll call him Alex) stayed up until 2 a.m. Another part of it is because I want to shut it all down. Sharing feelings is even more frightening than having them in the first place, because it creates a power dynamic that can easily be abused.More than once I have considered ghosting, not because I don't have any feelings, but because I actually do. If you get your heart tied up in someone, they can be reckless with it.My political beliefs are very important to me, and I require a future partner to share him.